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January 1, 1997

Being a Technology Coordinator Is Like Being a "------" Because . . .

by Willis Binnard

We have all used the device of explaining a concept or process in terms of everyday objects or mundane activities. I described formatting a disk to computer novices as painting the strips in a parking lot so cars know where to park. It is not correct in actual technical terms, but it helps a new computer user understand why formatting a disk is essential before data can be stored on it.

Participants at the Fall California CUE Conference Technology Coordinators' Preconference were asked to create similes or metaphors for being a technology coordinator. The creative responses shed light on the complex nature of technology coordinators; some used objects and others used animals, actions, or people to define the role. Others used "states of mind"-- from nightmares to adventures -- to create the image of what we do on a daily basis.

Here is a sampling of these metaphors for daily events, tasks, and goals:

Using Objects for the Metaphor

• a child's snowsuit because there are so many places to snap
• a doormat because everyone steps on you as they pass through the portal of technology
• a goldfish in a tank of piranha because you are supposed to provide for everyone's needs and wishes within the context of district policy and finances
• a walking encyclopedia because everyone asks you everything
• a flood because you are expected to spread yourself everywhere
• a runaway train because you are going really fast, you'll get somewhere eventually, and you doubt that anyone is controlling what is happening
• a windup clock because at the end of the day you are out of energy
• a windmill because you are always in motion
• a sponge because you're all-purpose, expected to always soak up new technology, and yet always remain full of holes and gaps
• a mushroom because everybody keeps you in the dark and feeds you horse manure
• a piece of wedding cake because everyone wants a "byte," but no one wants to pay the price
• a plate of spaghetti because everything is going in many different directions
• a sardine in a canning factory because no matter how hard you fight, you're going to be canned perfume over sweat because we always look for ways to disguise problems
• water because it takes the form of whatever happens that day and you usually get a lot of it cheap except during drought -like now
• the Little Red Hen because you plant, weed, harvest, grind the grain, and make the bread -- and then everyone wants to eat it

Using People or Professions as Our Model

• a den mother because people keep coming to you with problems and you have to counsel and console them
• a doctor because everyone feels you should not be terminal and can heal them quickly
• a superteacher because you have to function every second
• a university freshman because you are awed, stimulated, and challenged by your surroundings and looked up to by the high school students you left behind
• Madonna because you have to do "flashy" stunts to remain visible
• a waiter because you are always trying to fill someone's order, and when you deliver they don't always like it -- and there may be no tip!
• a ring master of a circus because you are juggling three different acts the same time
• a magician because you are expected to make things materialize out of thin air
• a person on the move because of the constant changes in technology
• a secretary to 500 kids because they all want one-on-one attention!
• a minister because some staff members stay away from technology, some are merely apathetic, and others take the plunge and become avid users
• two people because you have to be a teacher and a technology facilitator, which are two full-time jobs
• Ross Perot because you can figure out all the problems but have difficulty knowing the solutions
• an inventor because you can invent your own curriculum
• a mother because it is challenging, frustrating, and fulfilling
• a mother because you get experience in many stages of development at the same time
• a fireman because you are always putting out fires
• a mother of quintuplets because there are so many same-priority demands at the same moment
• a game show contestant because you are continually answering questions

Of special note is the juggler who resembles the life of the coordinator for many reasons:

• because spinning plates and wearing many hats are common tricks
• because everyone wants something different from your own first priority
• because you have to keep so many balls in the air at the same time
• because there are so many different aspects to the job
• because you have to keep changing hats all day long
• because you are forever adding new elements; the task is never-ending and always becomes more complex

Coordinators also were described in terms of:

• burning a candle at both ends because there are never enough hours in the day for everything
• giving birth because it goes on forever and everyone is an expert, but you are sure you are doing the correct thing
• directing a Chinese fire drill because no one knows where they want to go but they want to get there yesterday
• running a 120-ring circus because all teachers (performers) are doing their own thing in their own rooms (rings) simultaneously, and they all want support
• running a giant bake sale because of a lack of resources
• seeing the future because we are developing it
• endlessly spinning around on a Ferris wheel because the job is never done and -- hopefully -- always changing, growing, and moving forward
• preparing the space shuttle for flight because you're always in danger of being launched into space
• swimming in the ocean because sometimes it's relaxing and sometimes you're in deep water
• swimming upstream because it's hard to get interest and support
• putting beads on a string without a knot because it's an endless task
• taking one step forward and one-and-a-half steps backward because just when you think you know everything, something new and exciting comes along for you to master
• nailing jello to a tree because everything changes all the time

Some respondents pictured the role as being in a specific place:

• a blender because there are so many things to do at once
• outer space because there is a fear of the unknown and an enjoyment of its beauty
• a whirlwind because you never get to stop
• the Twilight Zone because you have never experienced it before

In less concrete terms, being a coordinator is like being in:

• a special "state":
• a nightmare because there isn't enough time to do everything you need to do
• an adventure because you never know when you'll step on a (political) land mine in your own district
• weather because there are stormy and calm phases with occasional hurricanes
• everything to all people because that is what they all expect
• exciting because you am always discovering and learning out of it because you don't know anything
• fun because you get to try out lots of new stuff
• video fast forward because the excitement and the demands cause you to do everything fast, fast, fast
• heaven and hell because it's fun and never-ending work

These examples may not follow the exact literary definition for a metaphor, but they certainly capture the images of the multifaceted roles that technology coordinators fill for schools, districts, and county offices.