The Difference Between Average And Remarkable Leadership

effective feedback messaging
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Many potential school leaders are talented and driven. That’s not what gets them over the finish line in uncovering long-term success as a leader, however. In fact, being so good can backfire.

Most school leaders fit a brand: hard-working, successful, highly driven, and full of lofty expectations. While these work for most aspects of our work in schools, many, if not most, of school leaders overemphasize challenging expectations over one important skill–and it’s the most important.

Looking back over a quarter century as a school leader, I often see brilliant people in charge crash and burn. I might try to help, provide guidance, or share my experience, except in our present world, this seems much more difficult, even incredibly risky, now that any constructive criticism, whether fed through a social media pipeline or at the Keurig machine, is met with defensiveness, even a pouncing pushback.

Strongmen (and women) seem to dominate the present leadership landscape in politics and corporations. Schools are no exception. I consider the literature I have read on effective leadership, and how frequently the perception held by others is a major factor in the success or failure of school leaders. Perception is more powerful than fact, and while I can anecdotally say it out loud, just look at the literature, and you can see the evidence for why perception of school leaders is so substantial.

So how do we get the perception of staff to result in high marks, and along the way, become faithfully loyal to us? Does perception and trust really matter?

Start By Being Transparent Yourself

Yes, having faculty trust and wanting them to follow us matters big-ly! It matters so much that without it, schools become dysfunctional and, as I say frequently, kids lose in schools where there are unmotivated, undedicated, and unsupported adults surrounding them.

If trust matters then, how do we gain it? First, it is not in being “nice” and avoiding conflict. In fact, it is often the reverse. Yet the critical way to approach feedback messaging is how we deliver it to those who need to hear the way in which we can both support and advise them in their workplace development.

We begin making incremental achievements in this area by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. “Blasphemy!” you say. “I have to be strong, and come across as confident, and definitive.” True . . . but everyone knows leaders are fallible, and more respect comes from acknowledging this and moving on rather than hiding it and making attempts to cover up mistakes.

Leaders who deny, shift, and avoid are quickly spotted, and then the whispers behind their back gain momentum.

Confront the truth, show others that you have the courage to be wrong, be transparent, and as important, move on.

The Messenger Matters Just As Much As The Message

Leaders should be as thoughtful with how they deliver a message of constructive feedback as they are in planning a master schedule. I observe so often the bad delivery of important goals and points, even if the idea behind it is sensible or right. It causes many school leaders to fall flat on their face, and then who loses? Kids.

Dan Pink shares a perfectly succinct version of this honest and supportive message-delivery approach, evidence that it works, and in just 19 words of feedback. Consider using this or a variation in your own approach to provide supportive and purposeful feedback: “I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I know that you can reach them.

A study on delivering feedback shows that how we deliver constructive feedback is far more effective than a flat message that attempts to cheer an achievement. Effective school leadership requires understanding that the impact of a message is determined more by the leader's non-verbal cues and tone than the actual words used. Body language is far more influential messaging than we realize.

Remember to approach messaging unrushed and thought out, show care, and hold onto it throughout your administrative career. If you do, you will get to enjoy the camaraderie of a loyal faculty, one who remains fiercely faithful to you.

Ultimately, the winners of such organizational frameworks are our students, and the echoes of their successes loom large with a school community that permeates trust, a strong perception of leadership, and a school atmosphere that capitalizes on potential.

Dr. Michael Gaskell is Principal at Central Elementary School in East Brunswick, NJ, has been published in 75 articles, and is author of three books: Radical PrincipalsLeading Schools Through Trauma (September, 2021) and Microstrategy Magic (October, 2020). Mike provides current guidance on AI, presents at national conferences, including ISTE (June 2023) The Learning and the Brain (November, 2021), and FETC (January 2025; 2024: 2023, and 2022); and works to find refreshing solutions to the persistent problems educators and families face. Read more at LinkedIn